Christmas & New Year - what is it like for those struggling with addiction?

Christmas 2017: A series of blog posts on the impact of the season on our mental health
​I'm starting a short series of blog posts focusing on how this time of year - while often a source of great joy for many - can cause extra problems and issues for those living with difficult circumstances or experiences. The first in this series focuses on a selection of examples of addiction:

For many, Christmas can be a time for the coming together of far flung family and friends. For reconnecting with those whom we lose touch with while we throw ourselves into work and living for the remaining 12 months. But for some it can present issues and concerns. Issues that might be avoidable for much of that time - but that the expectations and traditions of the season (that may have brought about addiction or vulnerability in the first place) present to us once more.

And I'm not just talking about alcohol - yes Christmas and New Year are a time of year when we traditionally consume far more alcoholic drink than others - be that at work Christmas parties, gatherings with friends or finding ourselves invited to a succession of celebrations with groups of whom we are a member - or just indulging at home with our favourite wines or spirits. However as much as alcohol can be a tool for escapism, to enhance experience and lower inhibitions, it can even serve as the glue in our social groups giving us the impression that we are closer to others than we really are. The more sinister side of alcohol use is how it can very easily become something that we start to use to change how we feel. As a tool to distance ourselves from uncomfortable feelings like loneliness, grief, heartbreak or disappointment.

My view of addiction - an issue which is close to my heart and that I have trained extensively in the understanding of - is that in our addictions we find a way to manage the unmanageable. That we seek to change how we feel within ourselves with the use of something or someone outside of us.

Take for example gambling addiction - where the addict participates in gambling as a means of finding a subtle high (gambling is considered a leisure pursuit after all) or of trying to improve their economic situation. Some of those struggling with financial commitments see gambling as a faint glimmer of hope in an impossible scenario. And who among us has not considered how they might spend a lottery win? Also let us bear in mind that the way that gambling is designed is by its very nature to be addictive, be that online or in a betting shop, despite the ubiquitous phrase "the house always wins".

At Christmas we can find ourselves wanting to spend money on family and friends that we can ill afford. Be that by buying presents that are beyond our fiscal means, or by wanting to put on the "perfect" christmas for our children. To give them something that we might not have experienced in childhood - or we might struggle with the ramifications of the season - finding it hard to stay warm in cold temperatures and being unable to put our heating on without some kind of cash injection.

These circumstances can combine to create the perfect storm leading someone to lapse in their recovery and clutch on to that glimmer of hope that gambling can provide - or that moment of oblivion that alcohol can give us in a moment of distress. However the key here is not to view relapse as an ultimate failure - but rather as another opportunity to truly learn the specific lesson that recovery has to teach in that experience.

If you, or someone you know, are struggling with addiction it could be useful to discuss these issues with a therapist. I have extensive experience working with various addictive behaviours - and it is extremely important to remember that if you are struggling with these problems then you do not have to do so alone.

I can be contacted via email on info@harleycounselling.com - or you can find more information on my website www.harleycounselling.com.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The second part of this blog series will cover grief and bereavement over the festive season, and will follow over the next few days.